Archived: Inadvisable Resolutions

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You’ve probably already had your fill of articles outlining different resolutions for you to choose from. You might’ve even adopted a few of them already. Instead, we thought we’d share some unadvisable resolutions for the New Year. Do not, under any circumstance, do any of the following.

Gossip more

Because gossiping always leads to good things right? Live that life full of #drama. Feel free to embellish to make it a juicier story too.

Go to bed later

On your eighth hour of that Netflix binge? What’s one more episode… Being super sleepy for class at 8 am is a great idea so you can get in a well-deserved nap on your desk. #lifehacks

Eat less healthy

Perks of overeating/eating junk:

  1. Never hungry
  2. All the greasy deliciousness
  3. French fries are life
  4. Lack of nutrients = hungry for more food, sooner

Become an adrenaline junkie

#YOLO right? Skydiving? No problem. Base jumping? Even better. Practicing your Mario Kart drift IRL? Best.

Drink less water

Did you know overhydration is a thing?! You do now and it is an epidemic sweeping the nation! (Except not really… it’s pretty rare I guess…)

Spend more money

Has anyone everĀ really regretted buying that thing that time that sits in the back of your closet? False. Buy all the things; spend all the money. What is debt?

Shower less

Fact: showering less means healthier hair and skin. How much does a person need to shower, really? Plus think of the water you’ll save!